[personal profile] red_kite
It's been one of those months that sneaks up on me again. Time has passed, nothing has happened. Sometimes I can gauge my mental state retrospectively by looking at my music-listening history. There's not much there. Very little reading, either. Things have been a lot better this last year, but 'a lot better', on the great scale of wellbeing, is still in the 'technically not dead' band. Not that that I'm complaining! I'm incredibly glad that I've felt so much better this year. It's just that I'm still nowhere near 'functional human being' despite having come so far, and that's... just the way it is, I suppose. We can't all have any prospect of ever looking back on our lives and saying "yep, that was worth being born for". Some of us can look forward to looking back and saying "sometimes that didn't hurt much, if you don't count the fact that it was still hurting others". Poor old others. I am sincerely sorry, just so you know, for having shown up on this planet and met you all. In the event that I get to reincarnate as myself again with prior knowledge, I shall definitely inflict myself on somebody else.


It's possible that everything would look slightly better if I wasn't posting this at two in the morning on a mostly-empty digestive system after a day spent mostly either asleep or complaining that my legs seemed to have quit without notice.
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Red Kite

September 2011

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